Jade's childhood
by AniZH
Summary: From Jade's birth to her being 22 years old, out of her mother's perspective.


Firstable, I want to wish everyone a happy new year.  
Second of all: For this story I am claiming Hollywood Arts is not just a high school but also a junior high. Which doesn't make sense with everything we know but I think the show also isn't very consistent and logical with the age and how long everyone knows each other and stuff, so... I went with this. I hope that's not a problem.  
Also good to know: I named Jade's parents Caitlyn and Christopher and her brother Jasper.  
Now have fun reading. :)

* * *

Caitlyn loves Christopher. He is always so composed, so grown-up and honest. She was already married once, to a man who had behaved like a little boy most of the time. The change feels good. It feels good to be with someone who takes life seriously.

But when she gets pregnant with her first child, she realizes Christopher's whole demeanor actually consists of coldness more than anything else. Christopher just doesn't care about much. He isn't interested much in the pregnancy. She reads that some guys are like that but that it changes when they hold their child in their arms. That's what she hopes for.

Yet, when Jade is born, she already doesn't love Christopher anymore.

o

o

When Jade is two, Christopher looses his job. He hasn't taken care of Jade at all until now.

Caitlyn takes on more hours on the job she has recently started again. She wants to leave Jade with him instead of her parents while she is at work from now on. He is her father after all. She can't. When she comes home for lunch on her second day, Christopher is still in bed, sleeping. Jade is in the kitchen, has pulled everything they have out of the fridge and has started eating through that stuff.

Caitlyn knows that she can count herself lucky that Jade hasn't pulled out the cleaning products two cupboards to the right instead. Christopher doesn't seem to get it. When he wakes up through Caitlyn's scream, he is confused and doesn't understand how dangerous him sleeping in has been.

Caitlyn screams at him through her whole lunch break before she drops Jade at her parent's house. They scream at each other the whole night as well. And some nights after that.

o

o

When Jade is three, after month and years of being angry with him, being disappointed by him, actually hating him, she finally divorces Christopher. Jade doesn't seem sad about it. Maybe, she doesn't really understand what's happening. She realizes they are moving out without her father. But after all, her father has never spend much time with her, even when he has been at home. So maybe that's why she doesn't really care.

o

o

When Jade is five, her father is barely paying for child support. She is with her grandparents of both sides a lot, so that her mother can work to give her a good life.

Every other Saturday, the little girl is with her father. Her mother doesn't think it's doing her any good and Jade doesn't want to go most of the time.

But Caitlyn doesn't want to be the reason her daughter doesn't have a relationship with her father at all. So, she encourages the visits and in the end, Jade always goes.

o

o

When Jade is five, her mother also hears her truly sing for the first time. It's a sad song, so sweetly sung, it nearly rips her mother's soul apart. She has always known that Christopher's attitude and her working so much is hard on Jade but she just now realizes how much pain the little girl already holds.

Caitlyn goes over and pulls Jade in a close hug. It's the first time, Jade doesn't hug her back.

o

o

When Jade is six, her mother gets called into school. Apparently she has pushed another girl from the monkey bars. The fall has broken the other girl's arm.

Caitlyn is shocked and doesn't know what to do. When they are home, she just starts screaming at Jade until she doesn't have any words left.

Jade endures it with an expressionless face and then says: "She is stupid."

"That's no reason to hurt her," Caitlyn answers, her voice a little hoarse from the screaming, and she goes on her knees next to Jade's bed where the little girl is sitting.

Jade shrugs without looking at her. "Whatever."

And there just has to be a better reason. Jade may be a... special child who doesn't have the happy, carefree personality lots of other girls her age have and who doesn't like to cuddle as much as other children her age, but she would never just hurt someone for the fun of it or because she considers the other person 'stupid'. Would she?

"Jade," Caitlyn softly says and takes the girl's hand in her own. "What is it? You can tell me."

Jade swallows hard, then she says, fast: "She tells everyone to not play with me. Everyone listens to her."

Caitlyn feels her heart freeze. "Why would she tell people that?"

Jade shrugs again and finally looks in her eyes and Caitlyn sees how tears fill her daughter's eyes because she really doesn't know why that girl doesn't like her and why she would tell everyone to not play with her. Why everyone listens. Why nobody plays with her.

It breaks Caitlyn's heart and she wishes she would know what to do but she again, just goes in for a hug. This time, Jade hugs her back tight.

o

o

When Jade is seven, she destroys her room with a hammer.

Caitlyn wonders about the noises but when she arrives, Jade has already destroyed a few things.

"What's going on?" Caitlyn asks shocked, pulling the hammer out of Jade's hands.

Jade looks at her questioningly. "Nothing."

"Where did you get this?"

"Grandpa gave it to me. He showed me some thing in his workshop and allowed me to play with this," she answers.

Caitlyn hasn't known that Christopher's father could be so irresponsible. Giving her a hammer to... play with?

"It's not a toy," Caitlyn says.

Jade shrugs and Caitlyn makes a gesture through the room: "Look at what you've done."

Jade looks around and decides with a smile: "They are just things. And it's fun."

Of course, Jade gets grounded.

o

o

When Jade is eight, Thomas moves in. Caitlyn has dated him for a year now. Jade doesn't like him. And she doesn't trust him. She has said that back after she has met him for the first time. She repeats herself when Caitlyn tells her he will move in and again, when they sit together for their first meal after he has moved in.

Caitlyn apologizes to Thomas and sends Jade to her room. Thomas says he understands. It must be tough for her, suddenly seeing a new man in her mother's life and now already living together with him when she barely knows him.

Caitlyn can't believe how much she loves Thomas.

Yes, maybe Jade has been right with the last two guys Caitly has dated. She has told her that they would both soon leave and they both had left Caitlyn only shortly after (and she knows Jade hasn't driven them away on purpose to be right).

But Jade is still so young, so what does she know? Some people leave and Jade just guessed right with the last to men.

She isn't right this time.

o

o

When Jade is eight, she also gets proven right. Caitlyn is pregnant with their son, when she catches Thomas in their bed with another woman. Jade comes home only shortly after her, hears and sees them fighting.

When Caitlyn has thrown Thomas out and is sitting on the couch crying, Jade comes up to her.

"It's ok, Mom. We can manage without him."

Caitlyn has to smile slightly. "I know, honey."

Jade grabs her hand and Caitlyn does her best to dry her tears with the other. It can't be Jade's job to be the strong one.

Yet, it is Jade who is and who now asks slowly and obviously worrying: "Do you think the baby is ok?"

Caitlyn pulls her daughter's hand to her belly, smiling a little wider now. "I think it is."

o

o

When Jade is nine, she becomes a big sister. Jasper is a great baby and Thomas may also not pay the full child support but at least, he takes care of his little boy from time to time. At least, he is a somewhat good father. He also suggests, Jade to come over with Caitlyn and Jasper or just with Jasper. Caitlyn has told him back when they were dating what kind of person Christopher is and maybe he wants to also be a father for her, especially now that she has a younger brother who has a loving father. Maybe, he isn't a good partner but otherwise a good person.

Jade never wants to go over. She always decides to go to her grandparents or her own father instead. Caitlyn knows that she hates him for what he did.

o

o

When Jade is nine, she also cuts her hair herself for the first time. She also dyes her hair black. Of course, that goes wrong. Her hair isn't really black, it just looks dirty instead. Surprinsingly, the cut is rather clean.

Caitlyn still takes her to a hairdresser to get the color completely out without damaging the hair too much.

Jade isn't happy about it. After a lot of door slamming and some harsh words that Caitlyn both would have expected to happen at a teenage-age but not from a nine-year-old girl, Jade proceeds to endless begging.

Finally, Caitlyn does take her back to get her hair really dyed black.

"Oh, that's not a nice and happy color," the hairdresser says when they tell her what they want.

Maybe, that's the first time, Caitlyn sees her daughter using some sort of death glare. "I like black."

o

o

When Jade is ten, she stars in her first school play. Caitlyn makes it just in time after work to watch it. Her parents are also there with little Jasper.

Jade is amazing and just owns the stage. Caitlyn has never known that Jade was a good actress – or even interested in acting. But she is extremely proud, seeing her fully engulge in her role and receiving the earned standing ovation in the end with a smile in her face.

o

o

When Jade is eleven, she gives her mother something that looks like a script.

"What is this?" Caitlyn asks with a smile. She is watching TV, Jasper is finally sleeping, all housework is done and Jade was also supposed to be in bed.

Jade shrugs. "Something I wrote. I don't know. I wondered if, when you have the time, you could read through it and tell me what you think."

She looks unsure but Caitlyn already feels extremely happy. Her daughter doesn't ask for her opinion or probably anyone's very often. Also, she is excited to read what Jade wrote. She has seen her wirting for month or years now, first guessing it was a diary until Jade has told her that she wrote stories. This is the first, in form of a script, Caitlyn ever gets to read.

"Of course, I will. I'll do it right now. I will tell you what I think in the morning," Caitlyn therefore answers and Jade nodds and leaves the room with a small smile.

o

o

When Jade is twelve, she tells her mother that she wants to apply to Hollywood Arts. The need for different and more school supplies, weird extracurriculars and some other things make this Junior High and the following High School itself more expensive than a regular school.

Caitlyn asks Christopher if he could help out over time a little bit, maybe finally pay more child support. He thinks, Hollywood Arts is nonsense and she should go to a 'real' school. (At least, he cares about what she does with her life by now, cares about her in one way or another.)

Caitlyn understands Jade's bad mood when she comes home from her visit from him and Caitlyn gets to know that he also told her that.

She runs her fingers through her daughter's hair which has been in it's natural color again for a constant year now, and says: "It's ok, hon. You know we will manage without him."

She is glad that it makes Jade smile.

o

o

When Jade is twelve, she also auditions to get into Hollywood Arts Junior High School and gets in. Caitlyn is extremely impressed and more than proud of her little girl.

o

o

When Jade is twelve, she also makes her first real friend.

Caitlyn doesn't know about it until one day, she comes home from work, Jasper with her who she has just picked up from her parents, and she hears giggling out of Jade's room.

"Hi, I'm Cat," the girl excitedly says after Caitlyn has knocked and opened the door to look who is visiting.

She is sitting on Jade's bed, bouncing up and down, her clothes a drastic opposite to the room, Caitlyn had allowed Jade to keep in dark colors just one year ago.

"Hello. I'm Jade's mother. You can just call me Caitlyn," she answers and looks over to her daughter who also sits realxed on her bed, not bouncing, not grinning wildly, not even smiling. But somehow, she still looks happy.

Caitlyn smiles: "Well... I'll leave you two alone. But if you tell me, what you would like to eat, I can cook you something up."

o

o

When Jade is thirteen, Christopher marries again. Caitlyn knows that Jade doesn't like the other woman but she goes to the wedding.

Caitlyn asks her at lunch the next day, after Christopher's mother has dropped her off, if she had fun.

"Ugh. There were way too many people and they were way too loud and... happy," Jade answers. "I bet divorce parties would be more fun."

That makes Jasper laugh which makes Jade smirk.

o

o

When Jade is fourteen and just got into Hollywood Arts High School, she brings home her first boy. Her mother knows she has gone on a few dates before with other guys but Caitlyn hasn't met any of them.

Beck is extremely polite and nice, helps making dinner the first time he is over, plays with Jasper a little bit. Caitlyn of course likes him and she sees how very much Jade likes him. Maybe already loves him.

A part of her wants to pull Jade aside and tell her about heart-break, about life, about hurt. A part of her wants to warn her because Jade is still so young and she could fall so deep.

But she remembers all of her partners (also the recent one, Jade has said from day one was a 'total loser') and... Jade has always known better than her. She probably now also knows how wrong it can go. She has seen with her mother after all.

So, Caitlyn just hopes that it will hold long, that they will have an amazing time. And that Jade is the one to fall out of love first, not Beck.

o

o

When Jade is fourteen, Jasper also wants a bunny. Caitlyn thinks it's just a phase but Jasper doesn't talk about anything else for weeks.

"You can't get one," Caitlyn tells him today at dinner again. "You are too young to take care of it. And I don't have the time."

Jasper looks like he is close to tears. "But, Mommy, please."

"Jasper. Quit whining," Jade cuts in, rolling her eyes.

Jasper starts pouting and Jade sighs before she looks at her mother: "Can we pay for a bunny?"

"I think I could manage the costs," Caitlyn replies but that's not the issue.

Jade shrugs. "Then get the child its bunny. I can look after it."

"Would you?" Jasper asks excitedly and Jade rolls her eyes again: "Yes. If that means, you quit whining."

"Are you sure?" Caitlyn also asks and Jade nods, so she smiles: "I guess that means we will get a bunny."

Jasper cheers, gets up from his chair and goes over to Jade to hug her.

"No," she says but not as harsh as to everyone else. Jasper also is way too used to it and just keeps hugging her.

o

o

When Jade is fifteen, she gets her piercings. Her mother is furious. She has never particularly liked the way, Jade has dressed since she was able to dress herself but she has accepted it. Especially recently, Jade being a teenager and everything. This, however, is unacceptable.

Yet... Jade has enormously good grades in school, even with all the stuff that's going on at that high school (and with her boyfriend and her always hanging out). And she does look after the family bunny so well that Caitlyn doesn't have to do anything. And she always takes care of her little brother when her mother asks her to. Which has been a lot lately because Caitlyn's parents are both getting older and sicker and Thomas hasn't had much time recently while his parents don't want to take care of their son's 'accident'.

So, her mother lets it slide.

o

o

When Jade is fifteen, she also convinces her father that performing, writing, acting, singing... being an artist is not stupid.

She comes home from her play, Beck with her, and tells Caitlyn that her father has told her he had liked it.

"That's great, honey," Caitlyn smiles and is honestly proud because she knows Christopher and she knows how stubborn he is – something she once had loved about him as well until she had hated it.

But of course, her daughter is able to convince even him. She is just great like that.

"I wish I could see it," Caitlyn adds. She has gone to many of Jade's plays, no matter if she had written them, directed them or starred in them. But some, she just couldn't manage because of her work. Well Wishes is one of those she won't see at all. She knows Jade hasn't tried at all to do one of the performances at a time, Caitlyn could manage.

Jade rolls her eyes a little bit. "It was only good today. Every other performance will be awful because of that stupid woman."

Caitlyn knows that that was the reason, Jade hasn't at least tried to get her to one of the performances: It wasn't her play anymore at all and she doesn't want her mother to see the desaster while her father had already been invited. She probably hadn't really felt like un-inviting him, because she had known that he would hate that as well, now that he had made the time.

Luckily, she has good friends who obviously have helped her out with impressign her father today.

"I'm still sorry that I couldn't pay for your play, so that everything could be what you wanted it to be." She has a little money saved but it's for emergencies and college for both her children. This doesn't count as an emergency.

"Don't be sorry," Jade just says and grabs Beck's hand. "Whatever. We will go over to Beck's now."

"Sure. Drive safe," Caitlyn says. She doesn't miss that Jade just came home to tell her of her success.

o

o

When Jade is sixteen, she and Beck break up. That day, already late in the evening, Jasper greets Caitlyn at the front door with the words: "Something terrible happened. Jade has been crying in the bathroom for hours."

At first, she thinks that Jade is just messing with her brother, making him afraid and also denying him entrace into the bathroom although he has to go. She sometimes does that.

But when she knocks on the bathroom door and hears her daughter's voice answering, she knows something is really, really wrong.

"Leave me alone."

She often says that but it is the tone of her voice that makes Caitlyn anxious. It sounds as if Jade is doing everything to keep her voice cold and hard but her mother clearly hears the brokenness.

"Honey. What happened?"

"It's none of your business."

Jasper slowly steps next to Caitlyn. "I think it's about Beck."

"Keep you mouth shut!" Jade yells through the door.

Jasper pulls a face and Caitlyn puts her hand on his head, slowly runs her finger through his hair. "Sweetheart. Why don't you make yourself ready for bed? I will come to kiss you good-night soon."

He seems to consider but finally he nods and goes to his room.

Caitlyn turns to the bathroom door again, breathes in deeply, knocks again and softly says: "Jade. Please, let me in."

There is no answer and Caitlyn wants to knock again, when the door lock clicks and Jades opens the door.

There is still make-up here and there on her face but as it seems she has washed her face in between. And she obviously has cried, her eyes are puffy and red, her nose is red as well.

"What happened?", Caitlyn asks worried, closing the door behind her, so that Jasper won't interrupt.

Jade swallows hard and slides down the wall next to the sink. Caitlyn has possibly never seen her this... hurt since she was a little baby. Even when Jade has felt hurt during the last few years, she has hid it under her coldness and sarcasm most of the time. Caitlyn knows that.

Something really terrible must have happened that she now shows her her feelings rather openly.

And Jade already tells: "Beck and I broke up."

"Oh, honey," Caitlyn says.

So this was it. Jade's first broken heart. Why didn't Caitlyn warn her? Or wouldn't a warning have helped at all?

Caitlyn sits down next to Jade, though there is barely room.

She searches for words to help her little girl but she doesn't have them. It just is terrible to be broken up with. Though Jade never specifically said that Beck broke up with her. Maybe she broke up with him. Breaking up can also feel terrible. And she has done that before, Caitlyn knows.

Though Jade hasn't been in such a state back then. Not that Caitlyn can remember. She just had been in a really terrible mood for those days before Beck had taken her back.

And... Stop! Yes.

"You broke up before," she softly says. Maybe, they will get back together now as well. Maybe, Jade hasn't have to feel so bad just like she didn't back then.

Jade shakes her head. "Not like this."

Her mother sighs, lost for words. Lamely, she suggests the only hope: "Maybe, everything will still turn out fine."

"Yeah, right," Jade spits out and then, much more quiet and incredibly broken: "I don't think I will ever love someone like I love him."

And she starts to cry and Caitlyn pulls her close, holds her and they sit there for over an hour.

Jasper doesn't knock on the door or interrupts them in any way. He knows about stuff. Just like Jade always knew.

o

o

When Jade is seventeen, Beck and her get back together. Caitlyn knows the second she reads the SMS, late that evening: "Staying over at Beck's."

Next morning, while Jasper and her are eating breakfast, Jade comes home and smiles when she sees her family. Caitlyn gets up and just hugs her out of happiness. Jade hugs her back.

o

o

When Jade is eighteen, she comes home with Beck one Saturday morning. There had been an event at school Friday evening and Jade has stayed with Beck afterwards like she often does. Caitlyn thinks it's her decision where to sleep, especially now that she is eighteen and it's only two weeks until she graduates from high school. But also before, as long as her grades were good, Caitlyn always knew where she would sleep and she came home from time to time.

Now they are standing in the kitchen which Caitlyn is about to clean.

Jasper also comes in after Jade called for him.

Then, Beck and Jade share a look, before Jade smiles and says: "We are engaged."

"What?" Caitlyn says but already a grin spreads across her face.

Jasper looks excitedly to her, than to Beck and back to Jade. "Really?"

He is the first to hug Jade and then Beck but then Caitlyn has also truly realized what she has said and she hugs her daughter tightly, before she also hugs Beck for the very first time.

"Wow," she then calls out.

Of course, they are still young. Caitlyn doesn't know if this is the smartest move. But what does she know about love? She never has been successful at it while these two people has been in love for four solid years now. Yes, they have been broken up in between but as Caitlyn understands it, they never have stopped loving each other.

And even if it wouldn't work out... they should have the best time until it would end.

Also, when she looks at her daughter's face now, she can't have any doubts about this engagement. She has probably never seen Jade happier before than at this moment.

o

o

When Jade is eighteen, she also graduates. All the students get up on stage and even now, getting her diploma, she just owns the stage, draws the attention of everyone to herself, dominates the place. Even between all these performers, all these artists, she is the special one, the one, everyone looks at. At least, that's Caitlyn's impression and she is proud once again.

When Jade is eighteen, she also moves out and together with Beck and they both get into college. But they both audition regularly for all kinds of stuff.

o

o

When Jade is nineteen, she stars in an actual Boradway musical. She auditions and gets the role and Beck and her move to New York as soon as possible after. They both drop out of college and Beck takes on temporary jobs in New York. Caitlyn knows that Beck's parents never liked Jade all that much and now say it's her fault their son doesn't finish his education.

She herself tells both of them that it would be smart to finish college but Beck uses his free time to fly to Los Angeles often and keep auditioning. Also, he tells Caitlyn, that he has to work because they do have a wedding to pay for soon. He smiles widely while saying that and Caitlyn is unbelievingly happy that Jade has found a guy like him.

On Jade's first night in her musical, Caitlyn and Jasper are sitting right next to Beck in the audience. Beck, who looks just as proud of Jade as her mother feels.

o

o

When Jade is twenty, she and Beck hold a beautiful wedding. They do it in LA because it's the most convenient for everybody.

They don't invite many people. Just their closest families and friends.

Caitlyn is more nervous and happier today than at her own two weddings she had.

Jade is harsher than usual that morning when she gets her hair and make-up done and Cat and Caitlyn help her with her dress which is of course black.

"I'm sure something will go wrong," Jade suddenly says after she has taken a good look at herself in the mirror and obviously hasn't found anything anymore she would have to change.

Caitlyn gently puts one of her hands on her daughter's shoulder. "You're probably right, honey. But it's ok if it does. Enjoy it anyway."

Cat beamed: "No matter, what goes wrong, you are still going to be married to Beck in just a few hours."

Jade smiles and hugs Cat unexpectantly. Cat hugs her back with an excited squeal.

After, Jade also hugs Caitlyn.

o

o

When Jade is twenty, Beck also moves back to LA. He has been cast for one of the main roles in big movie and would flim it in LA while Jade is still doing the musical. Caitlyn knows, it will work out for both of them. She is happy that Jade isn't even afraid that it won't, that she feels secure instead.

When Jade is twentyone, her run at Broadway is over and she also moves back to LA and finally back in with Beck. He is doing another movie by now and she takes on a few rather small jobs in different shows.

o

o

When Jade is twentytwo, she and Beck are visiting one time and their whole attitude reminds Caitlyn from the very first moment on of their attitudes back when they have announced their engagement to her.

But she doesn't ask. She knows Jade will tell her when she feels like it.

They sit down for dinner, the three of them and Jasper, when Jade finally speaks up: "So, Beck and I have some news."

"Have one of you finally been cast in a good TV show?" Jasper asks.

Beck laughs lightly. Jasper has told them to get on a good TV show already quite a few times.

Jades smirks as well but of course also has to punch her brother in his arm slightly. "No. And I probably won't have the chance to be on one for some time now."

Caitlyn's heart stops for a beat. Does that mean what she thinks it means?

Jade is already looking at her directly: "I'm pregnant."

A lot of grinning and hugging follows.

o

o

When Jade is twentytwo, she also comes over and just sits with her mother for some time.

They talk about Caitlyn's work, about Jasper, about Beck, about the little job Jade just scored. And about the child she is expecting. It's already possible to see her pregnancy.

And finally, while Caitlyn is catching another drink, Jade quietly says: "Mom? I think I never said it. But thank you."

Caitlyn turns around and looks at her daughter questioningly who looks down at her hands in her lap. "Thank you for... you know... staying. For always being there. And for always believing in me. Even when I let you down."

Caitlyn hurries back to her, pulls her close. "You never ever let me down, honey. You were always wonderful. I love you."

She takes Jade's head in both her hands and gives her a kiss on her forehead.

She knows, Jade is smiling as she softly answers: "I love you, too, Mom."


End file.
